


Intimate Strangers: Outtakes

by jamiesommers



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Joshifer - Fandom, Real Person Fiction
Genre: joshifer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-29
Updated: 2013-10-29
Packaged: 2017-12-30 20:44:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1023184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamiesommers/pseuds/jamiesommers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh and Jen have finally decided to give love a chance, but what happens when photos of Jen and Nick having dinner show up in the media while Josh is filming in Panama?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Intimate Strangers: Outtakes

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written for Marie as a gift for finishing College. I didn't have it beta'd at the time so forgive the errors please. If you're a fan of my Joshifer stories than find me on Tumblr. I'm Jamiesommers23. 
> 
> This is a work of fiction. I am merely playing in the sandbox of my imagination. I don't know these people. I will never meet these people, but God knows I'd love to.

**Intimate Strangers**

**By: Jamie Sommers**

**Rated NC-17 for sexual situations, language, drinking and _sexual situations_. Did I say that already? Well I meant it!**

 

 

**~J**

 

 

 

**Intimate Strangers: Outtakes**

 

 

 

There were a million reasons why people looked upon stories in the media with skepticism. For every one truth being publicized, there were at least a hundred fabrications floating around. It was the bane of some people's existence, and for others, they'd kill for even a split second of attention. Everyone who wasn't in the limelight wanted their fifteen minutes of fame, obvious by all of the reality shows on television, and for those that _were_ in the public eye, all they wanted was a little bit of anonymity. A moment to call their own, but these moments they yearned for were few and far between, and on this particular night, Jennifer could sense trouble before she even stepped out of the restaurant, through the backdoor, with Nick by her side.

 

The camera was flashing, and for the umpteenth time since being nominated for her role in Silver Linings, Jennifer's privacy was nonexistent. She avoided looking at the photographer's lens, and silently wished she had been able to reach Josh prior to meeting Nick for dinner. She told herself that she wasn't worried about Josh's reaction to the pictures that would be flooding the media within hours, but she felt she owed him an explanation as to what she was doing with her ex, and why she had agreed to meet Nick that night.

 

Since her reconciliation with Josh only weeks earlier, the pair had made a few decisions in regards to their relationship. Jen hadn't been too thrilled with Josh's suggestion, but now that photos of her and Nick would be splattered all over the place, she understood where Josh had been coming from.

 

_They had gone directly from the airport to the hotel room their publicists had booked for them while in Kentucky, calling Liz to let her know that Jen would not be attending the MTV movie awards after all. Both Jen and Josh had breathed out a sigh of relief when the publicist informed them that she had already told them Jen had a scheduling conflict and couldn't make it._

 

_Once in the hotel room, they barely spoke. A few words here and there, but then Jen led Josh to the master suite, and the only words that were spoken between the pair were in the midst of their lovemaking._

 

_Josh was laying on his back, with one arm draped over his head, and the other wrapped around Jennifer's waist. His fingers were spread wide over her ribs, fluttering against her skin like the wings of a butterfly. She had denied herself the pleasure of his gentle caress for far too long, and swore to herself, she'd never put either one of them through that form of hell ever again._

 

_Jennifer's long blond tresses were fanned out over the white linen covered pillow, her hand rested upon the center of Josh's chest, brushing back and forth across the fine hairs that lay above his heart. “I missed this,” she crooned softly, pressing a hard kiss against his chest, and catching the edge of his nipple on her full bottom lip._

 

“ _I did too,” his mellow tone matched hers. The hand he had resting above his head came down upon her body, and rested gingerly on her shoulder blade. “Jen, I know I said it already, but...I'm so sorry for walking out on you this morning.”_

 

“ _Josh, you didn't walk out on me.” It had been quite painful for her when she woke up and felt his absence, but she had no desire to cause him any ill will._

 

“ _No, Jen. I did.” He rolled onto his side, facing her, and threaded his fingers through the hair above her ears. “Worse, I let you go to bed last night thinking that I didn't love you anymore, and for that...” the painful expression that washed over his face threatened to break her heart. “Jen, I never stopped loving you. Not once.”_

 

“ _I never stopped loving you either,” her arms tucked under his, curling over his firm shoulders. “I was so stupid, Josh.” Jennifer began beating herself up over the things she had done during the course of their relationship. Pushing Josh away when she needed him the most, and not responding sooner when she heard his profession of love for her, had tore a large hole in their bond. “If I had said it back to you months ago, we never would have gone through this shit.”_

 

_He placed a tender kiss upon her lips, before filling his voice with poignancy, and took the blame upon himself. “You had every right to be upset with me. I should have never said anything about your break up with Nick during that fucking interview.”_

 

“ _ **I** should have never walked out on **you** to begin with,” Jennifer knew the reason they had broken up was on her, not him. Sure he had messed up, but his little stumble in the press hadn't been worth her overreaction._

 

“ _I should have fought harder for you,” he countered._

 

_Jen couldn't help the small smile that hinted at her lips, and one upped him once again, “I should have never ignored your calls and texts.” Placing her fingers over his mouth before he could say anything else, Jen resigned, “This could go on for hours, so why don't we both admit, we fucked up and accept the other's apology?”_

 

_The warmth of his breath whisked against her fingertips as he whispered, “I'm sorry.”_

 

“ _I'm sorry too,” she replaced the fingers currently dusting his mouth with her lips. “I love you.” Not giving him a chance to respond, she swallowed his profession of love with a kiss of affection, slipping her tongue between his parted lips and subtly stroking the interior of his mouth. By the time they pulled apart, her heart was beating a mile a minute, and a clenching had formed in her chest at the feel of his phallus firming against her lower abdomen. “I'm just glad we don't have to hide this anymore.” She had expected him to agree with her, but when his eyes darted away from hers for the briefest of seconds, and the hardness that had started to grow between them, softened, she began to worry. “Josh? We're not hiding this anymore, right?”_

 

“ _I've been thinking about that, Jen.” Josh cleared his throat, took a somewhat deep breath that left Jen thinking he was working up the courage to say something she wasn't going to like, and then confirmed her suspicions, “Maybe we should keep this to ourselves for a little while longer?”_

 

_Jennifer's eyes practically bulged out of her head as her voice rose to an unpleasant level, “What!? Are you fucking kidding me!?” She bolted upright, intent on showing her displeasure by pitching a small fit._

 

“ _Wait a second. Hear me out for a minute will you?” Josh tried to pull her back to him, but Jen was determined to be released from his grip. “Jen. Come on,” Josh sat up in bed while Jennifer stormed across the floor, in the raw, causing her breasts to slightly jiggle. “Please come back to bed.”_

 

“ _Fuck you! I am **not** hiding us anymore!” She stopped dead in her tracks when a petrifying thought struck her. “Oh my God,” she drew in a sharp breath while the blood drained from her face. “Is there...someone else?”_

 

“ _Wh...” Josh couldn't even get the word out without laughing. “After everything I said to you today you think there's someone else? And please don't tell me you're going to start that shit about Vanessa again.”_

 

“ _No,” Jennifer knew by the things his ex had said to her prior to her trip to Kentucky, that Vanessa was no longer in the picture. “Not her, but...not that fucking Selena Gomez slut!? You son of a bitch!” She jumped on the bed and pounded her fists into his shoulders while Josh ducked and continued to chuckle. “Quit laughing at me!”_

 

“ _I'm sorry, but... Jesus, you're cute when you get jealous,” he yanked her down onto his lap and pulled her in for a kiss, but Jen's lips were unresponsive. “Jennifer, there's no one else. There hasn't been anyone, other than you, for...” he lifted his eyes to the ceiling then back down again, “...shit. I don't even know how long.”_

 

“ _Then why do you want to keep us to ourselves?” She made a gesture between them. “I thought we said, no more hiding?”_

 

“ _Think about this for a second,” Josh held her eyes, which were filling up with tears, with his own. “You and I are both going to be on location for a while. I've got appearances I have to make after finishing up this movie. You're just about to start shooting in Montreal...” he let out a soft sigh. “Jen, we're barely going to have time with each other until we start shooting Mockingjay in the fall.”_

 

“ _We'll make time,” she said with a whine in her tone._

 

“ _I'm not saying, we won't spend **any** time together. I'm saying, we're not going to have **much** time together, and if we make it known that we're a couple, but we're not together, what do you think the press is going to do?”_

 

_Jennifer adjusted her position so she was on her knees, straddling Josh's lap. “I don't know. Bug the shit out of me on a daily basis and take my picture?”_

 

“ _Yes, but not just yours.” His hands brushed the hair back from her cheeks and rested lightly upon her shoulders. “Think about who you're filming with in Montreal.”_

 

“ _Who gives a shit who I'm filming with?”_

 

“ _Jen,” he rolled his head to the side, stuck his tongue out to moisten his lips, then spoke to her like she were a child in need of an explanation. “Who are you filming X-Men with?”_

 

_Jennifer shook her head, attempting to follow Josh on his path to a reasonable explanation. “I don't fucking know!” She said in frustration as she began to name off her fellow cast members one by one, “Hugh Jackman...Anna Paquin...Patrick Stewart...Nick...Halle B...” The raised brows and slight smirk hinting at Josh's lips, told Jennifer she had answered his question pertaining to who she would be spending her time with during filming. “Nick.”_

 

“ _That's right,” Josh rested his forehead against hers and spread his fingers across her back, running them up and down the small bumps of her spine. “Nick.”_

 

“ _Josh,” she closed her eyes in fear that she had somehow caused him to question her loyalty. “You have to know there's nothing between him and I anymore, don't you?”_

 

“ _I do know that.” She could feel him tapping his knuckle underneath her jaw. “Hey, look at me.” When she finally opened her eyes and met his, he said, “I'm not worried about the two of you in the least, okay?”_

 

“ _'kay,” she felt a bit of relief, but she was still unsure as to why he'd want to continue to keep their relationship a secret._

 

“ _But just because **I** know you'll be faithful to me, doesn't mean the press will.” Jennifer peered at him with a curious expression. “Jen, they live to stir up shit between couples, and if I'm in Panama and you're in Montreal with Nick, do you really think they're not going to exploit that?” Josh's hands lay limp against her upper thighs. “They're already hounding you. Now imagine that they find out about us. They'll be all over me too, not that I care, but they will be, and every time you're seen anywhere in the vicinity of Nick, or my picture is taken with a fan...my costar...anyone other than you, what do you think the headlines are going to read?”_

 

_Jennifer's eyes squeezed closed as she imagined what the press would conjure up. “Nick and Jen back together again,” she said with a defeatist attitude._

 

“ _Exactly,” Josh's hands rubbed up and down her legs, and his thumbs drew patterns against her inner thighs. “Trust me. I want to tell everyone about you and me. I really do, but September is months away, and I don't want anymore unnecessary problems for either one of us.”_

 

_Jennifer gave her head a reluctant nod then quickly followed it up with an impish grin, hoping to let him know that she would be on board with his proposal. “Is Josh stepping out on his Hunger Games costar with his lifelong pal, Andre?” Her lips curled around her teeth as she sniffed out a bit of laughter._

 

“ _Jennifer Lawrence tired of slumming it with the Disney Kid?” Josh played along._

 

“ _Are Jlaw and Hutch going back to paying Dutch?” Jen giggled._

 

“ _Joult's sunk Joshifer's ship!”_

 

_Jen and Josh were both laughing at his comment. “I can see it now,” Jen said between giggles. “One picture of Nick and I on a battleship firing missiles, and the other of you and I drowning at sea.”_

 

“ _A tragic ending for the duo,” Josh brushed his nose back and forth across hers. “Poor Josh. He finally got his hooks into Jennifer, and the second Nick sails back into the picture, Josh is swimming with the fishes.” He took on a serious expression. “I really feel bad for the guy.”_

 

_Jennifer moved the lower half of her body seductively against him. “Oh yeah,” her chin dipped downward. Her eyes gleamed flirtatiously at him. “Poor, poor Josh. He never gets the girl,” Jen pushed him down onto the mattress by his shoulders and dangled her breasts just above his chest._

 

“ _You know why I never get the girl, right?” His hands gripped at her hips, pulling her flush against his forming erection._

 

_The tip of her bright pink tongue poked out from between two full lips leaving them glistening and inviting. “Tell me why.”_

 

“ _Because I'm short,” he chuckled up at her._

 

“ _Mmmm,” she lifted herself up, slipped the only barrier separating their bodies, from between them. The sheet dripped from her fingertips, forming a milky white pool on the floor of the bedroom, as she planed her body against his, aligning them from head to toe. She gazed down appreciatively, into the tawny rays that reminded her of sunbursts, surrounding the dark pupils of his eyes, lightly pressed the tip of her nose against his, and settled her plump lips over his. She asked suggestively, “Do you know what I love about your height?”_

 

“ _Nuh uh. Tell me.” She could feel his lips barely moving beneath her own._

 

_She bore her aching nipples into his chest, ground her downy patch in a circular motion against his hard staff, and answered in a sultry tone, “Everything lines up. We're a perfect fit.”_

 

_Josh's fingers dug into her bare buttocks, pulling her closer to him. “Like two pieces of a puzzle.”_

 

_Her lids began to flutter closed. With a tilt of her head, and a rush of emotion flowing through her heart, Jen took a cleansing breath through her slightly flared nostrils and blew the air out against his lips. There was a timber in her voice when she opened her clear blue eyes and looked into his. “Do you think we'll ever get the chance to be like everyone else in this world? To just be...normal?” A tear slipped from the corner of her right eye and made its way, at a snail's pace, down her cheek. “Will we ever be able to just be a couple of people that fell in love, and not have to worry about such ridiculous consequences like rumors and photographers?”_

 

“ _You think other people don't go through shit like this?” Josh cradled the sides of her face in the large palms of his hands and held her an inch away from him. “Right now there are two guys out there that are madly in love with each other, but neither one of them can share that with their families or their friends, because they're too afraid of how people will react. They can't walk down the street holding hands, because they live in a world where people call them fags, and beat the shit out of them for being who they are. Every single day there are people struggling for their right to love who they want to love and not have to face such inhumane repercussions, Jen. You and me?” Josh swallowed hard and said, “In the grand scheme of things...we've got it pretty easy.”_

 

_Jennifer let out a sniffle, and a tiny wisp of air. Listening to Josh's dose of reality shook her very soul. “We do, don't we?”_

 

“ _Yeah, Jen.” His supple lips grazed hers. “We do.”_

 

“ _Okay,” she agreed with his earlier suggestion. “Let's keep this to ourselves a little longer.”_

 

As Nick reached across his lap, in the passenger seat to buckle himself in, Jen turned to face him, and saw the flash reflecting off of the windshield. The longer they sat outside of the restaurant, the more concerned she grew about Josh's reaction to the pictures. It had barely been two weeks since she and Josh had their conversation about keeping their relationship out of the media, and his prediction was already coming true.

 

“Jen?” Nick lifted his eyes catching the flash of the photographer's camera unintentionally. “Bloody hell,” he kept his face as emotionless as possible. “They are relentless, aren't they?”

 

“Yeah,” Jen turned the engine over, looked in her review, over her shoulder, then backed out of the spot without once facing the photographer head on. “Be glad there was only one guy smart enough to hide out back.”

 

“I really thought we'd give them the slip by using the employee's entrance.” Nick settled himself into the seat as she drove in the direction of his place.

 

“Thank God they couldn't get pictures of us while we were eating.” Jen was grateful they had accepted the secluded table in the restaurant that Nick had suggested to the hostess. “If they had seen us sitting there... Can you imagine what they'd speculate about us?”

 

Nick's bashful grin and the regret in his tone made Jen glad she had said yes to him when he asked her out to dinner. “With any luck, those speculations won't cause many problems for you.”

 

“I appreciate your concern, but...” She was about to tell him not to give it a second thought and stopped when she noticed the dejected expression on his face. “Can you stop looking like I just kicked your puppy, please?” She gave his leg a friendly pat.

 

“I'm sorry, Jennifer,” there was a bit of humor in his tone, but Jen knew better. “How do you expect me to react? You agree to go out on a date with me...”

 

“This was not a date,” She threw him a glare then followed it up with a small smile.

 

“Well, a fellow can hope, can't he?” Nick chuckled. “As I was saying,” Jen knew this was Nick's way of saying, she had rudely interrupted him. “You agree to go out with me, and proceed to tell me you're in love with another man. You may as well have kicked my puppy.”

 

“Oh, shut up,” Jen laughed at him and was pleased when his laughter joined in. “Am I dropping you off at your place or what?”

 

“Is that an offer to go home with you?” Nick's eyes got large and held a hint of amusement.

 

“Hey, Nick. Know what I can do that you can't?”

 

“What is that?”

 

Jennifer looked smugly at the road before her then quickly threw him a cheeky smirk. “Drive your ass home, so shut the hell up before I leave you for dead on the side of the road.”

 

“This is why we broke up,” she knew he was trying to tease her, but his accent always seemed to make him sound like he was serious.

 

“Because I wouldn't put up with your shit?”

 

“Precisely,” Nick picked up the book that she had set between them. “I do hope you'll have time to read this. With your busy schedule, when will you be able to pencil it in?”

 

Jen's eyes flashed towards the book then back at the road. “Sleepless nights,” the jovial spirit in her voice had disappeared.

 

“Do you have many of them?”

 

Jen thought of the time she and Josh had been spending apart and said sorrowfully, “ Too many.” Forcing herself to keep her eyes on the road, in an attempt to keep thoughts of her time without Josh at bay, proved futile. Jennifer had no clue what Nick was rambling about in the seat next to her. The past few miles of their journey was a blur. Music began playing through the car's speakers, but Jen still didn't register the sound of the melody until she heard a familiar tune. “Leave it here,” she ordered Nick and began humming to herself then joined in with the chorus. “...waiting for you. Darling don't be afraid...hmmm...hmmm...hmmm...hmmmmmm.”

 

“Like this song?”

 

She didn't pay attention to the facetious tone in Nick's voice or his question for that matter. Frankly, she had no clue what he had asked. Her finger blindly reached for the button to silence the commercial that had started to play, and her voice creaked out unknowingly, “I'm lonely without him.”

 

…..

…..

…..

…..

…..

 

Josh read the face of his phone and groaned when he saw the six missed calls and one voice mail from Jen, “Shit.” He normally wouldn't have called her at such a late hour, but the message he got from her as well as the fact that she had called him so many times, had him worrying. “Call Jen,” he spoke to his phone. He stripped himself of the tight white t-shirt and baseball cap that reeked of his long day, tossing them both onto the chair in his room.

 

Josh laughed when she answered the phone with, “Where the fuck have you been?”

 

“I miss you too,” he chuckled loudly. With an overly sweet tone in his voice, Josh began having a fake conversation with her, “Hi honey. How are you? Oh, I'm fine sweetheart. How are you? I'm so miserable without you, baby. Me too, pooh bear.”

 

“Fuck off,” Jen said.

 

“Your outpouring of love is truly touching, Jen.” He chuckled again when he heard her grunt in response. “I can actually hear your eyes rolling up in the back of your head.” Josh pulled off his belt and stripped himself down to his boxers before taking the phone off of speaker. “So, what do you say we try this again? Let's pretend that I just called you.” Josh cleared his throat quite loudly and mimicked the sound of a phone, “Ring. Ring,” he paused. “Ring. Ring.” For a second he thought maybe the call had gone dead because Jen hadn't said a thing. “Jen? You there?”

 

“Your personal ringtone is not, ring, ring.”

 

Josh's nose crinkled as he laughed and said, “I'm soooo sorry. Let me try this again.” He cleared his throat for the second time and went for it, “So, ladies! Yeah! Ladies! Yeah! If you wanna roll in my Mercedes.”

 

“Yeah,” Jen chirped along with him.

 

“Then turn around! Stick it out! Even white boys got to shout, baby's got back!”

 

“Helloooo,” Jen said it as though she were just answering her phone and they both let out belly laughs. “Hey,” she said ending the word on a sigh.

 

“Hey,” Josh lay down on his side of the bed and let his gaze fall upon, what would have been, Jen's side, wishing she had been there instead of on the phone. “I'm sorry I'm calling so late.”

 

“Josh, it's not that late.”

 

“Oh, yeah. Time difference.” He had forgotten that he was three hours ahead of her. “In that case, why the hell am I calling you so late? I should be in bed.”

 

“Correction. You should be in _our_ bed.”

 

“Mmmm, I like the sound of that.” he let his thoughts drift to the little time they had been able to spend together while in Kentucky before his schedule changed once again and he was called back to Panama. “I miss being in bed with you.”

 

“Know what I miss? Other than you, of course,” she asked him.

 

“Tell me.”

 

“Hawaii.” He could sense the morose tone in her voice and yearned to lay a comforting hand upon her. “Sleeping with you almost every night. Knowing you were right down the hall on the nights we were apart.”

 

“Soon, Jen. We'll be able to do that again soon.” He ran his hand over the cool pillow imagining her head leaving a dent in it. “I miss your face,” he creaked out. “Looking across the mattress and seeing you there...” he could feel a portion of his heart crumbling into pieces without her near.

 

“We could switch to a video call if you want,” Jen suggested.

 

“Would it be okay if we didn't?” Josh closed his eyes and pictured her the way she looked after they made love the first time. The look of utter surprise that twinkled in her eyes. The bashful smile delicately lifting her rose hued lips. The way her hair cascaded over her shoulder, partially covering the pink tip of her breast. “I like imagining that you're next to me.” His hand stroked the pillow once again. “Is that weird?”

 

“No,” her voice quieted down to barely above a whisper. “I'm doing the same thing. I keep pretending that you're laying in bed with me...smiling at me. I love the way you get those little creases underneath your eyes when your whole face lights up.”

 

“I like it when your eyes drift upwards while you smile. Like you've got a secret you don't want to share with anyone else.” The image of her demure gestures filled his mind. “I miss you, Jen.”

 

“I miss you too.”

 

Neither one spoke for a few seconds. Josh listened to the sound of her breathing over the phone line, longing to feel the warmth of her breath against his skin, and broke their silence. “I wish we could go home. Just go home and crawl into bed with Driver and Chaz Bono.”

 

“Will you have any free time soon? Maybe you could come visit me?”

 

“I'm pretty booked right now. I couldn't even get back there for the Straight But Not Narrow meetings that are going on.” They had been counting on his return to LA for those, but once again his schedule got in the way.

 

“I know. Plus I've got that stupid premiere to go to in New York.” He could hear her sighing over the phone line and thought that maybe there was something more bothering her, other than their separation.

 

“Jen, is everything okay?”

 

“I don't know,” he waited for her to continue. “Guess this is just a lot harder than I thought it would be. I mean...it's not like we talked every single day before, and now... Fuck! Now I can barely make it through a day without wanting to hear the sound of your voice. I fucking hate this shit. I hate going to bed alone. I hate...pretty much everything lately.”

 

“Aw, come on. That's not true. I saw some pictures of you shopping at Vera Wang, and you looked happy in them.”

 

“You saw those?” He could hear her smile. “Stalking me on the internet now?”

 

“Phew,” he blew out a breath. “That's kind of a loaded question. If I say no, you're going to think I don't care what you've been up to. And if I say, yes. You're going to think that I'm creepy.”

 

“I like creepy Josh.”

 

“That's a relief,” he chuckled, “because...yes. I've been stalking you on the internet.”

 

“I knew it,” she laughed a little. “I've been stalking you too, and I have to say...I've never been so jealous of a fucking turtle in my entire life.”

 

Josh's laughter rippled through his room. “That turtle was awesome! Did you like that picture?”

 

“Yes. I especially liked the fact that you opted to wear my necklace in lieu of a shirt.”

 

“That was _my_ necklace first, Miss. Lawrence.”

 

“I don't think so.”

 

“Bull. Shit.” Josh guffawed. “You kept trying to steal mine, so I bought you one of your own.”

 

“Nope. Sorry. Don't remember it that way,” she giggled. “Next thing you know you'll be saying the bullet necklace was yours too.”

 

“It was,” Josh rolled onto his back and smiled up at the ceiling. “You're such a little shit, you know that?”

 

“Me? Nah,” Jen dragged the word out. “I'm not a little shit. I'm the love of your life.”

 

“This much is true,” just hearing her say it caused an ache to form beneath his breastbone. “And I'm the love of yours.”

 

“Um...Josh?”

 

“Don't tell me I'm not, because I'll kick your ass,” he joked with her.

 

“No. Of course you are, but I'm sort of hoping you'll remember that when I tell you about my night.”

 

Josh sat up in bed, suddenly worried about the initial reason for his call to her. “Jen, what's going on? Why did you call me six times? And what the hell was up with that message you left me?”

 

“Okay...so...” She let out a cleansing breath. “Don't be surprised if, while you're stalking me on the web, you see some pictures of Nick and I leaving a restaurant together.”

 

“What?” Josh wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, but the instant jealousy rippling through him was making it very hard.

 

“Nick called me and asked me if I would have dinner with him.”

 

“And you said, yes?” Josh asked.

 

“Well...yeah. I was hungry,” there was an innocence to her voice that had him shaking his head and grinning. “The thing is, when we left the restaurant we had our picture taken, and now I'm afraid we'll be all over the place by morning.”

 

There were times when Josh wished he could eliminate the lack of privacy in their lives, but this was par for the course in a successful actor's career, and something they had to learn to deal with. “I knew you two would eventually meet up and they'd get a picture of you guys, but I didn't think that would happen until you were on location.”

 

“I tried to call you before I left, but you didn't answer your phone. Which reminds me. Where the fuck have you been?” The accusation she had when she first asked him that question was now gone.

 

Josh leaned back on the bed and said, “I went out for dinner and drinks, and my assistant still had my phone. Sorry.”

 

“What the hell are you doing leaving your phone with your assistant when you know I'm going to call you?”

 

“Uh...I didn't know you were going to call, but next time she leaves the set because her son got rushed to the hospital, I'll make sure to get my phone first.”

 

“Oh.” Jen was quiet for a second. “Um...her son got rushed to the hospital?”

 

“Yeah. He wasn't even supposed to be here, but he came to visit for a couple of days. Next thing you know he wound up in the ER. She had to leave and meet him at the hospital, and we were all so worried about the kid, we just shoved her in a car and sent her on her way. Wasn't until I was done for the day that I remembered she still had my cell.”

 

“So how'd you get it back?”

 

“It was waiting for me at the front desk when I came back to my room.” Josh was relieved when he read the note his assistant left for him apologizing and telling him that her son had only sprained his ankle. It wasn't broken. “As soon as got in, I saw your missed calls and listened to your voice mail. By the way, what was up with that thing? 'Uh...Josh...um...uh...fuck...uh...grunt...grunt'.”

 

“Shut the hell up,” he imagined her facial features animating as she spoke.

 

“Were you too tongue tied from Nick's mere presence that you couldn't figure out what to say to me?”

 

“No. I was too tongue tied to say anything because...well...um...”

 

“Here we go again,” Josh let out a bit of nervous laughter, almost fearing her hesitation. “Obviously there was a reason you called me six times, and three of those calls were one right after the other, so let's hear it.”

 

Jen let it out in one rush of air, “I told Nick about us.”

 

“You what?” Josh was shocked to hear this. “What happened to keeping it to ourselves?”

 

“I really had no choice,” Jen was quiet for a few seconds. “Can I call you back in a few minutes?” She asked. “This is the second time Liz has called while we've been on the phone. I should probably call her back.”

 

“Yeah...yeah. Sure,” Josh wanted to say, no. He wanted to find out why she had no choice but to tell Nick about them. To find out what the hell happened during their night out together. “Um...call me back when you're through, okay?”

 

“Okay. Bye.” Josh had expected her to say that she loved him before disconnecting their call, and started to wonder if there was something he needed to worry about.

 

“That is ma _hog_ any!” He smiled when he heard those words. Since he and Jen had gotten back together, Josh had replaced the notification tone that she had put on his phone with a standard one. Elizabeth's voice was now meant for Jen's texts alone. **“Love you,”** he read the note from her.

 

“ **Love you too,”** he quickly typed back, and rested his hands behind his head, letting his mind drift back to their last few hours together.

 

“ _So I guess this means you won't be my date for the GLAAD Awards?” Jen walked around the hotel bedroom naked, throwing the few items she had unpacked, back into her small overnight bag._

 

“ _You know, if I didn't have to go back to Panama, I think we actually could have gotten away with being each other's dates to the GLAAD awards.” Josh had been an active supporter of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community, so it wouldn't have seemed odd if he and Jennifer had attended together, but Angie's call earlier that morning telling him he had to go back to work sooner than expected, had put a damper on things. “Are you thinking about taking a different date?”_

 

“ _Yeah. Harvey,” Jen chuckled as she shoved the white t-shirt Josh had taken from her, in her bag._

 

“ _That's my shirt,” Josh tried to stop her with his voice._

 

“ _I'm taking it back.”_

 

“ _Then I want my red shirt back.”_

 

“ _That's not going to happen. You're also not getting your hat back,” she pulled on the cap and faced him._

 

“ _If I wasn't so afraid that someone would see it, I'd take a picture of you like that.” How could he not appreciate her voluptuous curves, her smooth skin, the beauty marks that dotted her ivory flesh in the most provocative of places, wearing nothing but his baseball cap? “Damn,” he licked at his lips. “How much time do we have before you leave?”_

 

_Her eyes darted towards the alarm clock then back to him. “About three hours.” She tossed the hat she was wearing to the side._

 

_His brows wagged as he gestured with his head for her to come back to bed. “That's plenty of time.”_

 

“ _What did you have in mind?” Jen took careful, slow steps towards him._

 

“ _What are you in the mood for?” He could tell she was feeling randy by the swing in her hips and the coy tilt of her chin. “Feeling romantic? Passionate?” The tip of his tongue licked back and forth across his thin upper lip when she shook her head, no, to his questions. “Naughty?” His cock twitched when she nodded her head and stood at the edge of the bed._

 

“ _Not just naughty,” she bent at the waist and dangled her breasts above his face. “Compliant.”_

 

“ _Ooh, I like it when you're like that.” Josh absolutely loved it when she let him get creative in the bedroom. “Get in bed.”_

 

“ _How do you want me?” She purred against his lips._

 

“ _On your side, facing away from me.” He waited until she followed his orders, then hopped up on his knees behind her. “Tuck your top leg up,” he pushed her knee gently towards her chest, and kept her bottom leg straight. “Mmmm,” he looked down at her soft flesh, wanting to drink her all in, and tickled at the dark blond curls between her legs. He took her hand in his and placed her fingers against her own body before leaning over her and whispering in her ear, “Spread yourself open for me.”_

 

“ _Oh God,” Jen let her eyes close and blew out an expectant, choppy breath._

 

_Josh stared at her for a moment or two before placing a trail of kisses down her spine, over the curve of her ass, and licked at the slit her fingertips were pulling at. The tip of his tongue flicked back and forth between her moist folds, lapping at the puddle of juices that were quickly pooling within. Her toes kept curling and uncurling as he teased her. She was in such an odd position, laying on her right side, her bottom leg stretched straight down, her top pulled as high as it could go, bent at the knee which was pressing against her breast. Only one of her hands could reach her slit, but that was all Josh needed. What he was about to do wasn't meant to bring her to orgasm. It was about whetting her appetite. Tantalizing her every sensation until she was at her breaking point...teasing and tormenting her...bringing her close to the crest, and then reeling her back in over and over again until her body had no choice but to explode. Josh knew what he was about to do would drive him to the edge and back as well, but that was the best part about making love to her. Since being with Jennifer, Josh had come to the conclusion that the sole purpose of sex with other women was reaching an orgasm, but it wasn't with Jen. With her it was the journey that mattered. It was a way in which to show her how he felt, and the climax...well, that was an added bonus._

 

_Josh had been with other girls, and gotten very creative over the years. Losing his virginity to a star struck girl had been pretty cool for a fifteen year old boy, and the girl didn't even complain when he came within the span of about two minutes. He was grateful his mother had taken him to get his first box of condoms, and used two of them that night. The second time he had sex with the girl he lasted a few minutes longer, but when she offered a third time, Josh turned her down. He remembered his mother's comments about not using the entire box of condoms, “all in one place,” plus he didn't want to lead the girl on. It was bad enough that he let himself dip into the fan pool. He really didn't need her to think he wanted anything serious with her. Fortunately for Josh, the girl was just thrilled that he had paid any attention to her, and didn't ask for his number. Over the years, he had learned different things about women. He took pride in being able to get a girl off by the flick of his tongue or the motion of his hips, but when it came to sex, if she didn't get off before he did...it didn't really faze him. He'd tell himself that girls didn't reach orgasms every time. It wasn't until he was dating Shannon that he learned girls got just as sexually frustrated as boys did. He also learned about teasing a girl into submission. Shannon had been very religious and didn't want to have sex right away. Josh on the other hand had been very horny. He didn't pressure her into sex. On the contrary, she was willing to do everything **but** the actual act, and by the time Shannon had said yes to him, Josh had barely put it in her before she was clawing at his back and screaming out his name. Now that he looked back upon his past, Josh was thankful he had experienced what he thought was love. He was so sure that Shannon had been the only person for him. That she was the love of his life, but comparing what he felt back then to what he felt for Jennifer was pointless. All of his past relationships combined couldn't hold a candle to what he and Jen had, and for this reason, Josh knew that sex would never be about his own personal gratification again. Even the few times that he and Jen had found themselves in the throes of passion, racing towards the finish line, he would do his best to make sure that she got there before he did, and if she didn't, then he'd make it up to her afterward. He had no problems with dropping to his knees and making it all about her, not expecting anything in return. She did it for him on more than one occasion. For the first time in Josh's life, being with a woman meant putting her emotional and physical needs before his own, and the pleasure he derived from showering Jen with love was far better than any orgasm he had ever had before she entered his life. _

 

“ _Oh...uuuh,” Jen's little pants, as Josh dipped the tip of his tongue in and out of her, was driving him mad. The sensual flavor of her excitement coated his lips and spread across his taste buds. It took every ounce of strength within him to pull away from what he was doing. She let out a little grunt as he rolled her onto her back and lay between her legs. Placing himself just inside of her, he held himself there and leaned his face over hers. A spark ignited in her crystal clear blue eyes and a small smile formed on her face as she realized what it was he wanted her to do._

 

_Josh shivered when she ran her tongue over his bottom lip, taking in her own flavor. The more she lapped, the deeper he pushed himself inside of her. When she finally plunged her tongue inside of his mouth, washing the interior with fervor, Josh did the same. He rooted himself within her slick walls, then pulled out to the very brim, intently staring at Jen as he moved in a slow and steady pace._

 

_She threw her head to the side and let out a loud, “Fuck,” and felt her boldly slam her hips upwards._

 

_Josh could sense that she was close, but it still wasn't time for him to let her fall over the edge. He yanked himself from within her, getting up on his knees and tugged her by the hand, into a sitting position. His gaze dropped down towards his rod, glistening with her sweet juices, then lifted suggestively to hers. He watched her face register his silent proposition, going from quizzical to eager within the span of seconds. Josh dropped his head back and let out a loud, “Aaaah,” when Jen took him in hand and ran her tongue around the very tip of his cock. She licked up the length of him then swirled her tongue around the ridge in a circular motion before completely taking him into her mouth. The wet heat of her saliva, as she licked him clean, almost caused him to explode inside of her mouth, but this would be the last time they'd have together for quite a while, and Josh wanted it to be something they'd always remember. He held her cheeks in his hands, gently pulling her from him, bent down and kissed her in a slow and languid motion. Her muskiness still lingered on her tongue as his tangled with hers. “Lay down,” he spoke between their slippery kiss._

 

_Her head had barely dented the pillow as he buried his face between her legs, holding her petals apart and suckling at her clit. “Oh fuck yeah,” Jen cried out, her fingers getting lost in his hair while she held his head in place. He lay the flat of his tongue at the bottom of her crease, dragging it upward to the hooded nub, then back down again, dipping it inside of her and drinking in her feminine flavor. The soft patch of hair tickled at his nose as her savory aroma filled him with a scandalous craving to plunge his arousal within her. He ground his erection against the mattress, reached down, taking himself in hand, and pumped his fist along his shaft while he moved his tongue expertly between her silky lips. His tongue lavished her dewy region moving up...down...in and back up again until he felt her thighs begin to quiver. Between his saliva and her sensual response to his actions, her body drenched the lower half of his face. He listened to her noises carefully, knowing that she'd quickly be drawing close to her breaking point, and when he felt her fingers digging into his scalp, forcing his mouth in place, he threw her hands off of his head and climbed up her body._

 

_Jen reached out and grabbed the sides of his head, pulling his face to hers and darted her tongue in and out of his mouth as he sheathed his rock, hard appendage within her plush passage, burying himself as deep as her body allowed. Their bodies rocked together in a frenetic pace. Her hips thrust upwards, smacking into him as he pounded into her flesh. His hand reached for hers, clasping at it and clawing at the bedding simultaneously. Jen's head thrust to the side, her lips dragged against his forearm, that was pressed into the bed, then turned back to his mouth, capturing it in a wet, manic kiss. Their frenzied movements were quickly leading, both of them, towards the pinnacle they desired, but once again Josh halted his motions and ripped himself from her body._

 

_Wasting no time, Jen's hands pressed firmly against his shoulders, pushing him backwards until he was the one lying on his back. She climbed over him, threw her leg over one side of his head, positioned her wetness over his face, and took hold of his cock, ravishing it with long, luxurious strokes of her tongue, before sucking the very head between her swollen lips._

 

_Josh could barely keep his thoughts on what he was doing when he felt the pleasing yet firm pressure of her mouth sweeping up and down his shaft. Her hand began stroking it in succession, curling and sliding in an upward, circular motion, and he knew if he didn't stop her soon, he would be the one that broke way too soon. “No, Jen. Not yet,” he gasped out from between her legs, but his pleading request was denied, as Jen's mouth swallowed him whole. “Fuck,” he muttered before delving his tongue back into her. He clawed at the apples of her cheeks, pressing his fingers into the round swell of her ass, leaving a white dent in the shape of his fingertips. Jen sat up and slid herself up and down on his tongue, her hand was still working its magic between his legs, and Josh knew it was time to put a stop to her pending orgasm one last time. His arms wrapped around her waist, pushing her upper body back down then proceeded to roll them onto their sides, allowing him to free his hard rod from her grasp. The slight grunt she made when he separated them told him that she was almost where he wanted her. He quickly shifted himself into a sitting position towards the head of the bed, and beckoned her to him. Without hesitation Jen climbed onto his lap, belting her legs around his waist, and digging her heels into his backside. Her natural lubricant enabled him to slide into her body with ease. Her snug fixture enveloping him from root to tip._

 

_There would be no more stopping. Nothing would be able to keep them from the crowing achievement their bodies had been working up to. The lower half of their bodies picked up speed as Jen swiped her tongue along his jawline, then plunged back into his mouth. His entire body shuddered as he tasted her nectar between their heated kiss. One of his hands roamed up and down her spine while the other cupped the cheek of her ass then squeezed her hip. Jen pulled her mouth away from his and lifted her weighty breast towards his mouth. Josh released the deadly grip had currently had on her ass, and squeezed the sides of her breast, leading it to his mouth. He sucked relentlessly at the tip until it constricted into a rigid peak, and Jen tossed her head back, screaming out her delight._

 

_Josh watched her every expression as she drifted towards the epic finale. The way her jaw went slack...the creases that formed at the corner of her eyes as she held them tightly closed, and the occasional shimmy of her head. Her breath came out in short, ragged pants, thickening the moist air flowing between them. Her walls contracted, seizing his almost painful erection, in her unrelenting vice. Her fingers gripped at his backside, digging into the pliable cheeks of his ass, encouraging him to move harder...faster, and with one profound thrust of his hips, pummeling her onto his staff, she let out a reverberant cry of pleasure, saturating his burning heat in a shower of love._

 

_Josh ground his teeth together, submerging himself in and out of her center, as the muscles in his entire body grew achingly rigid._

 

_Jen's eyes flew open, her hand shot between their bodies, rubbing at the spot where their bodies formed an unbreakable union, then lifted her wet fingertips to his lips. She painted the essence of her core along his top lip with the pads of her fingers, hooked them over his bottom lip and opened her mouth over his. The tips of their tongues met...flicking...tasting, and when Jen crushed her body in a downward motion, forcing him to bury himself to the hilt, Josh felt her climbing towards her peak once again. He thrust his hand into her hair at the nape of her neck, forcing her to make eye contact with him, and held her crystalline stare. Jen's nails scraped across his back, scoring red streaks into his flesh. Her breathing sounded as erratic as Josh's had become. “Yes!” She screamed out as her body was rocked with another powerful orgasm._

 

_The electrical current, shocking Josh's entire system, causing the tiny hairs on his body to stand on end, sent a surge of blood to his core. Their eyes were still locked in place...Jen was still calling out her pleasure, and Josh could no longer keep the tidal wave, that had been threatening to flow, at bay. Jen's mouth mashed down on his as Josh exploded deep within her._

 

_He held her in place for several minutes, allowing them time to regain their faculties. The muscles that had been tense only minutes ago were now pliant and relaxed, and he was suddenly fighting to stay awake. “Fuck,” he breathed out against her ear. “You sucked the life right out of me.”_

 

_Jen let her body flop back on the bed, breaking their connection, and squirmed her back against the mattress. “I could pass out right now.”_

 

“ _Me too,” Josh lay down on his side next to her and rested his hand on her flat stomach._

 

“ _My God that was incredible,” Jen purred._

 

“ _I wish you didn't have to leave.”_

 

“ _I know,” she turned to face him and draped her leg over his hip. “We'll see each other soon though, won't we?”_

 

“ _Hope so,” Josh knew he had some meetings scheduled in the near future for his charity. “If everything works out, I'll be back in California by the end of the month.”_

 

“ _Feel like taking a trip to New York with me?” She brushed her fingers over one of his nipples. “The Great Gatsby premiere is coming up. You could go too.”_

 

“ _I didn't get the invite to that,” he hadn't been surprised by his lack of an invitation. Hollywood's elite were going, and he had yet to reach the same status as Jennifer. It didn't really bother him, he had a great career, better than most child actors, but if he had gone with her, there would be no secret in whose date he was._

 

“ _Who gives a shit if you got an invite or not? You can call Angie and tell her to get you one. Everybody does it.”_

 

“ _And what about the real reason I'd be heading back to the states?”_

 

_She gave him a coy grin. “I thought the real reason you were coming back was to see me?”_

 

“ _Okay,” he brushed the tip of his nose against hers. “That's true, but I'm telling people it's for Straight But Not Narrow. How would it look if I blew that off and went to see a movie instead?”_

 

_Jen grimaced at him. “You always have to do the right thing, don't you?” She tugged at his earlobe then ran her knuckles down his cheek. “Who knew I'd have to move to LA just so I could meet, and I mean this literally, the boy next door?” Josh shrugged and gave her a look of purity. “Oh please,” she rolled her eyes at him as he batted his lashes at her, “Mr. Innocent over here. Though...you weren't all that innocent a few minutes ago,” she giggled at him. “You know, when I said I was feeling naughty, I really thought you'd do that thing we did that time we were in my...”_

 

“ _Bathroom counter?” He knew exactly what she was talking about. “Christ, I thought everyone in the damn house was going to hear us,” he chuckled. “You were a little noisy.”_

 

“ _Hey, don't blame me. That thing we did really...” the color pink tinged her cheeks, “...it was...you know.”_

 

“ _Yeah. You liked it.” He couldn't help but chuckle at how shy she'd get sometimes. “Any time you want to try that again, you let me know, but next time we decide to be that daring, let's make sure we've got the house to ourselves and it's not full of stylists and your friends.”_

 

“ _That part was kind of fun too,” she ducked her head down. “The thought that we might get caught,” her brows moved up and down as she bit the corner of her lip. “That was very hot.”_

 

_As much as Josh wanted to stay in bed with her, he knew her time was running out. “We should probably hit the shower, don't you think?” He checked the time. “Jesus, Jen. You have to leave in an hour and a half.”_

 

“ _Shit!” She sat up and stared at the clock. “How long were we at that?” Her hands rubbed at her inner thighs. “Never mind. My legs are telling me we were doing that for quite a while.” She smack his rump before getting off the bed. “That's pretty impressive, Josh. Most men wouldn't be able to last that long.”_

 

“ _Trust me, I almost didn't,” he laughed as he gathered his clothing and headed to the shower._

 

“ _I gotta say,” she raked her fingers through her hair, “anytime you want to kiss my sex lips, let me know,” then let out a loud laugh._

 

“ _You're so romantic,” he loved how she could be so shy one minute and so brash the next. “What time is your driver going to be here?” He asked over his shoulder as she turned on the faucet, but Jen didn't answer him. “Hey, you okay?” He could hear her sniffling behind him._

 

“ _This is it. This is the last time we're going to be able to just be...us.”_

 

“ _Come here,” he pulled her in for a hug and fought not to let their separation get the best of him. “We can do this. We'll talk every day, and we can video chat, and text.” Josh could feel his emotions getting the best of him as he attempted to comfort her. “Jesus, I'm gonna miss you,” his arms clung to her body, as hers wound around his back, gripping tightly. Neither one of them ever wanted to let go._

 

“I have died every day waiting for you. Darling don't be afraid. I have loved you, for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more,” Josh's eyes flew open when he heard Jen's personalized ringtone. The first time she heard it, Josh had lost his cell and Jen had to call it for him. She had laughed her ass off when the song started to play, and mocked his choice of a ringtone, but then he explained why he decided upon it.

 

“ _I can't believe that's your ringtone. Maybe we should put the mahogany thing back on there,” Jen snickered._

 

“ _That's not **my** ringtone, smartass,” he snatched his cell out from between the sofa cushions. “That's **your** ringtone. I chose it so I'd know it was you calling. Besides, you love that song. You sing it all the fucking time. Though I admit, I was torn between that one and Baby's Got Back.” He pinched the cheek of her ass._

 

“ _I call dibs! I need to use that one,” Jen giggled and swatted his hand away. “You know I'm going to call you all the time now. Like at the most inconvenient times, just so that ringtone can be heard by everyone you work with.” She draped her arms over his shoulders and spoke against his lips. “You're such a little pussy. God, how I love that.”_

 

“Hey,” Josh was exhausted, it was after two in the morning in Panama. “I was wondering if you were going to call me back or not.”

 

“I told you I would,” the sound of her voice caused a heightened sense of loneliness to fill the void he had been plagued with since his return to Panama. “Can we go to video please?” She asked. “I really need to see you.”

 

“Yeah,” after thinking about the last time they had been together, he needed to see her as well. Within seconds Josh was looking into the eyes of the woman that had changed his life. Her freshly scrubbed face glowed back at him. “Wow, you look stunning,” he said with sincerity in his tone, and noticed the blush creeping up her cheeks. It amazed him that she was so surprised when he complimented her on her beauty. She was the most confident woman he had ever met, yet she would blush at the drop of hat when he commented on her looks. “Do me a favor, will ya? Lay down and put the phone on my pillow facing you.” Josh held his phone to the side, quickly adjusting the settings so the screen wouldn't automatically rotate, and felt a rush of warmth wash through him. It may have been a smaller version of Jennifer's image, but it almost felt like her head was resting on the pillow next to his. “That's much better.”

 

“I agree,” she blinked slowly. “Feels like you're here now.”

 

“I was just thinking the very same thing.”

 

Neither one spoke, they simply took in the other's features until they had their fill, and Josh mouthed, “I love you.”

 

“I love you,” her lips barely moved, but he could tell she had said it back to him. He allowed his eyes to momentarily drift closed and let her words cocoon him in a blanket of adoration.

 

When he opened his eyes back up, he saw the concern on her face, countering the tranquility on his. “I guess this is when you tell me the bad news, huh?” He could see her eyes begin to glisten, and knew he wasn't going to like what she said.

 

…..

…..

…..

…..

…..

 

“Have you been talking to Liz this whole time?” It took her almost an hour to call him back.

 

“Most of it, and then I decided to get ready for bed,” Jen answered, trying not to let Liz's news get to her. “It's good to see you,” the sight of him had made her feel a bit better. His eyes were always full of reassurance, and considering he was two years younger than her, he had a wisdom about him that transcended his age.

 

“It's good to see you too, but you're avoiding something.” Josh snuggled down into his pillow and propped his phone against the one next to him. Choosing to do the opposite of Jen, he was determined to face whatever problems they were about to be troubled with, and asked her flat out, “Why'd you go to dinner with Nick, and why did you _have_ to tell him about us?” He braced himself for her answer.

 

The only good thing about being a famous actress, as far as Jen was concerned, was being able to do something she loved, and get paid well for it. The perks that came with that job, as of late, had changed her, and though she wasn't proud of some of her more recent choices, she was decisive in her decision to fix the mistakes she had made. “Know what winning an Academy Award gets you?” It was a rhetorical question. “Off the hook.” Jen began thinking of the people she had pushed out of her life, and only recently began letting back in. “You weren't the only person I had treated badly, Josh. I was snapping at everybody. I practically took Liz's head off on a daily basis. I ignored most of my family's phone calls, and I pushed all my problems...everything I didn't want to face, off on someone else. I barely went to the store to buy my own food, someone else could do it for me. Why? Because I found it a lot easier to hide from the cameras then to face them.” It was cleansing confessing these things to him. She told him about Vanessa's confrontation outside of the Starbucks, calling Jen out on how badly she had hurt Josh. Relayed the conversations she had with Nick when he stopped by her hotel room in Montreal, and the morning she met him for breakfast. She told him about going out with a few guys from the movie she was filming in Boston, for some beers, and admitted, “All I wanted to do was forget who I was for a little while. Just go back to being the same person I had been before all this...notoriety was thrust upon me.” The entire time she spoke, Josh remained silent. Taking it all in, and for that she was grateful. “That day at the airport, I knew I had to find you. I had to convince you that I could be me again. All I wanted to do was beg you for your forgiveness. To give me another chance.” Her subtle grin lifted her eyes. “And before I had the chance...there you were. No questions asked. No consequences to face. You just accepted me for the total bitch I had become.” Jen watched as he reached out a finger and touched the screen of the phone. “Do you need to hang up or something?” She asked of his actions.

 

“No,” Josh whispered. “I just wanted to touch you.”

 

She gave her head a little shake and closed her eyes. “There you go being sweet again when I don't deserve it.”

 

“I'd argue with you, but I want you to finish telling me the rest of this, so go on.”

 

“Since you and I got back together again, things have gotten better, but I still find myself full of resentment. Only now I don't take it out on other people.”

 

“No, you take it out on yourself,” Josh knew she had been burdened, and wished he could be closer to her to help her through her problems. “You can talk to me about these things, you know? If the pressure is too much...or if you're just sick of being Academy Award Winner, Jennifer Lawrence, and you just want to be Jen from Louisville...I'm here.”

 

“I know that,” he had unknowingly repeated the sentiment she had made earlier in the evening, “but there are some things I have to take care of myself, and when Nick called me and asked me to dinner I was tempted to say, no. Before I knew it I was saying, yes.”

 

Josh studied her expressions and tried to read each one. “Why do you look so guilty? Did something happen over dinner I should know about?”

 

“Sort of,” Jen proceed to tell him about her meal with her ex.

 

_They had parked in the back of the restaurant in the hopes that they'd avoid the press hounds. Nick laughed at Jennifer, saying, “You really think they're going to hunt you down just for a picture of us having dinner together?”_

 

“ _Nick, they follow me everywhere.” He had called the place earlier and asked them to reserve a quiet table out of the way, but the hostess showed them to one in the middle of the dining room._

 

“ _Would you mind if we sat there,” Nick gestured towards the table in the dimly lit corner._

 

“ _Of course,” the hostess placed the menus down on their table and recited the chef's special for the evening._

 

“ _That sounds quite tasty,” Nick commented as he began scanning the menu._

 

“ _Never order the special,” Jen had told him that a million times over the years._

 

“ _Yes, I know. The chef is simply looking for a way to discard of dated food,” Nick gave her a slight roll of his eyes. “Or perhaps he's wanting to try out a new recipe. Have you ever considered that?”_

 

“ _Nope,” Jen said good naturally. “They're just trying to dump their old food on us.” She had been starving when he called, but now that she was sitting there with him, her appetite had disappeared. Ordering a cup of soup and a Salad Nicoise, Jen sipped at her glass of sparkling water laced with citrus slices and asked Nick, “What's up with the book?”_

 

“ _Why yes,” he slid it across the table to her. “I had almost forgotten about that.” He took a sip from his glass of wine and placed it back on the table without so much as a noise. “You had flagged a page in here, and I thought perhaps you'd like to finish reading it.”_

 

_Jennifer took notice of the book's title. She hadn't propped it open in almost a year, and didn't think she'd have a chance to read it anytime soon. Her schedule was hell. “Thanks,” she accepted his kind gesture and chose that moment to offer an apology. “Listen,” she sipped at her water again to moisten her drying mouth. “I've wanted to talk to you about a few things.”_

 

“ _I've been wanting to talk to you as well. Hence the invitation to dinner.” Staring back at Nick's boyish grin, over a dinner table, made Jen long to be in other company. Not that she didn't like the guy, but given a choice, it would be Josh sitting across from her. “I've realized a few things since the last time we've seen one another, and I felt that I should get a few things out in the open.”_

 

“ _Um...okay,” Jen was trying to figure out what it was he needed to get out. They had pretty much said all there was to say except she still owed him an apology. “But first, I wanted to say I was sorry,” it spilled off her tongue. “I was rude to you in Montreal...said some things that were uncalled for, and...well...I'm just really sorry about that. I was going through some shit and taking it out on everyone around me. Unfortunately, you were in my line of fire.”_

 

“ _There's really no need to apologize,” Nick sipped at his glass again and dabbed his napkin at his lower lip. “I'm the one that should be saying I'm sorry.”_

 

_Jen was taken aback by his comment. “About what?”_

 

“ _Jennifer, I put you in a precarious position. I presented you with an ultimatum that ultimately ended a wonderful two year relationship.” He leaned slightly over the table and lowered his voice down. “I asked you to choose me over your career, and I should have never done that. Neither one of us should have ever expected the other to make such sacrifices.”_

 

“ _Wow,” Jen was downright shocked to hear him say that. “Never thought you'd think that way.”_

 

“ _I may not be an Oscar winner, but my career is going quite swimmingly, and if the woman I loved asked me to give that up simply to spend a few more hours with her, I would think that rather selfish. Which, I'm sure, you were thinking about me when I asked that of you,” Nick took hold of the fingers she had just wrapped around her glass and gave them a amicable squeeze. “For that I do hope you can accept my apology.”_

 

“ _Apology accepted,” Jen lifted the glass to her lips, uncomfortable with how long he had held onto her hand, then rested the glass back down. “It's sort of funny that you said that to me...about giving up my career for the person I loved.” Too many memories of Josh's willingness to put her public image before his own filtered through her mind. “I've sort of changed my views in the past few weeks.” She sat back and allowed the waitress to place her cup of soup in front of her, waiting for the girl to leave before continuing on. “It finally dawned on me, that there's really no purpose in having success if you can't share it with someone.” She picked up her spoon and blew on the chunky potato chowder before taking a bite. “Another thing,” she used her spoon to point towards him, accentuating her point, “I also realized that I would give it all up for the person I loved.”_

 

_Nick's fork clanked against the side of his salad plate. “Do you mean that, Jennifer?”_

 

“ _Yup,” she took another bite of her soup. “Told you...been doing some soul searching these past few weeks, and I didn't really like what I found.”_

 

“ _Jen, that is...” Nick picked up his napkin from his lap and balled it up on the corner of the table. His entire face changed from happiness to disbelief. His fist was covering up his mouth, and his eyes lifted away from Jen's for a few seconds. “I have been waiting for you to say that for quite some a while,” he reached over the table and grabbed the hand she held her soup spoon in. “Jennifer, we have wasted so much time.”_

 

“ _I'm sorry?” She released her hand from his grip and rested both of them in her lap. “Why have you been waiting for me to say that to you?” His comment about wasting time replayed in her mind, and Jen quickly stood up from the table. “Um...I need to use...uh...” her head darted from side to side in search of the ladies room. “Be back in a sec.” She gripped her cell tightly in her fist, pushing the green icon underneath Josh's contact information, in hopes to get a hold of him. “Shit...shit...shit...” she whispered to herself as she pushed open the ladies room door. “Come on, Josh.” She called him again and grunted when she heard it go to voice mail. She pressed the disconnect button, stared at her flushed reflection in the mirror, then tried calling him one more time. This time when it went to voice mail, she left a message, but she wasn't sure how to explain the situation. “Uh...hey...um...Fuck! I...uh...fuck...can you...just...” she was more frustrated with herself for not knowing what to say than him for not being there. “UGH!” She hung up the call and blew out a cleansing breath. “Okay,” she looked at her reflection again, “you can do this. Just tell him there's no way in hell you two will ever get back together, and leave it at that.” Killing time, she washed her hands twice then went back to the table to see an anxiously awaiting Nick. “Sorry,” she sat back down and noticed that her salad had been delivered, and Nick was in the midst of eating his meal. “Um...Nick,” she forked at the large pieces of freshly seared tuna. “What did you mean when you said, 'we've wasted so much time?'” Hopefully she had made some inaccurate assumptions._

 

“ _Exactly that, love.” The familiar term of endearment told her she hadn't been wrong after all. Nick was hoping for a reconciliation. “You and I have spent far too long apart. We've both made mistakes, but now that we'll be working together again, and you've finally decided to prioritize our relationship...”_  
  
“Stop,” Jen held her hand out to shut him up. She couldn't let him continue to delude himself. “Oh boy,” she hadn’t meant to say that out loud, or to blow out a frustrated breath that fluttered her bangs. “Nick, when I said that, I wasn't directing at anyone in particular.” She felt horrible for not acknowledging that she had feelings for someone else. “Okay...that's not exactly true. I was directing that statement at someone, but...umm..”

 

“ _Not me,” Nick sat back in his chair and gave her a blank stare. “You've met someone else, haven't you?”_

 

“ _Not really met...I mean...in the sense of the word like I just met him or...I mean...shit,” she let her shoulders slump. “There's someone else. Yes.”_

 

“ _Someone I know?”_

 

_She wasn't sure how to answer that. “Maybe. Yes. Sort of.” Nick didn't exactly know Josh, they had met on a few occasions and talked about motorcycles, but that was about it. Josh had known more about Nick though. Jen had told him everything about her boyfriend. Talked to Josh when they were fighting. Confided in him when Nick would say something that hurt her feelings, and on the rare occasion that she was truly happy with something Nick did, she shared that with Josh too. “I guess I'd say, you kind of know him.”_

 

“ _Shall I rephrase that question?” Nick picked up his utensils and began dissecting his meal. “Is it Bradley?”_

 

“ _Huh?” The corner of Jen's nose lifted up like the thought was a little farfetched. “No.”_

 

“ _My word, please do not tell me that you're the reason Liam and Miley have been on the outs lately?” Nick chuckled a bit, but Jen didn't find that statement very funny._

 

“ _Liam and Miley are doing just fine.” She took a big bite out of her salad and found that her appetite had returned. “You need to stop reading the gossip rags.”_

 

“ _Who needs to read about it? I swear to you, the people in our line of work throw around more rumors than the actual tabloids do.” Nick took another bite and eyed her up. “Are you going to tell me who it is or not?”_

 

“ _Or not,” Jen looked at him curiously. “And why aren't you pissed off?” She attempted to tease him. “You just told me that you wanted to get back together with me and I tell you there's someone else...you don't even get angry about it? I'm not saying you should, but shit...”_

 

_Nick let out a laugh that put Jennifer more at ease, and said, “I plan on raising all sorts of a ruckus once I find out who this mystery man is. Hmmm... is he in the business?”_

 

“ _Yes,” Jen nodded._

 

“ _Director? Producer?” Jen shook her head. “Actor then?”_

 

“ _Yes,” she thought she was playing it safe by not mentioning any names. “We want to keep it quiet though, so please don't be like the rest of these people you were just complaining about and start spreading rumors.”_

 

“ _I wouldn't dream of it.” Nick began asking her questions about what she had been up to, and Jen enjoyed their easy going banter. “Can you answer one rumor for me?”_

 

“ _Sure,” things seemed to be a bit less stressful between them now that she had set him straight._

 

“ _Were you supposed to be at the MTV Movie awards or not? There was an awful lot of speculation flying about.”_

 

“ _No,” Jen shook her head. “I had scheduling conflicts.”_

 

“ _Is that so?” Nick took another sip of his red wine and asked, “What were you doing?”_

 

“ _Josh and I were in Kentucky,” she answered. Her eyes lifted to his when she heard him choke on his wine. “Are you okay?” She held handed him his glass of water. “Drink this.”_

 

_It took a few seconds for him to stop coughing, but when he did it was Jen's turn to choke, not physically, but mentally. “My God, it's Hutcherson, isn't it?” Jen's fork froze on its path towards her mouth and her jaw dropped. “That's who it is that you're involved with now. That Hutcherson fellow,” Nick stated. “I knew it. I knew way back when you two were filming that damn movie that he had feelings for you. Didn't I say it? Of course I said it. Lord knows we got into enough squabbles about the way the two of you were behaving.”_

 

“ _No. No. I swear, there was nothing going on between us back then. Josh and I were just friends.”_

 

“ _But you're not...just friends anymore, are you?”_

 

_Jen wasn't quite sure what to say. He had already guessed at it and she was doing a piss poor job of declining it. She propped her elbows on the edge of the table and rested her hat covered head in her hands. “You can't say anything. Please...please, Nick. Please don't breathe a word about him and I to anyone.” Jennifer pleaded with both her tone and her eyes._

 

“ _Answer this for me. Is it serious?”_

 

_Jennifer's expression turned soft. Her eyes twinkled, lifting towards the side as she thought about Josh and how he made her feel. Was it serious? “Yes. Very serious,” she whispered._

 

“ _I was ready to take you to task for entering into a committed relationship with him,” Jen was about to tell him to mind his own business until he finished saying, “but how do I do such a thing when the mere mention of his name causes you to look like a lovesick fool?”_

 

“ _I do not.”_

 

“ _I beg to differ,” he gestured towards her using his fork. “I wish you could see yourself right now. Blushing like a little girl...shy smile. It's quite becoming, and a bit of a knock to my ego, if I'm being honest.”_

 

“ _Knock it off.” She played with the salad, moving the thin strips of anchovies to the side, and stabbing at the olives with the tines of her fork._

 

“ _I apologize if I'm making you uncomfortable, but the truth is difficult to hear. Especially in this case,” Nick blew out a large breath. “I always thought it would be me causing you to get that twinkle in your eye, and flutter your lashes.”_

 

_She should have felt guilty, after all she and Nick spent two years saying they loved each other, but now she knew it was never what life had intended. Still she felt the need to say, “I'm sorry, Nick. I didn't tell you this to hurt you.”_

 

“ _No, I'm sure you didn't.” They ate quietly for a few minutes until Nick spoke again. “Why him?”_

 

_There were a million reasons she could list off as to why she fell in love with Josh, but there was only one that mattered. “He makes me feel...normal. Like none of this,” she made motion towards the dining room where the scattered patrons would occasionally stare in their direction, “matters. I'm not...famous when I'm with him. I'm able to be me, and he loves that person. He doesn't make me feel like I need to be some perfect Hollywood starlet.”_

 

“ _But you are, Jennifer. Perhaps you don't realize how special you truly are?” Nick made his argument._

 

“ _That's the thing, Nick. Josh thinks the girl from Kentucky is just as special as the girl that won an Oscar.” She could see Nick contemplating her words, reached across the table and patted his hand. “I don't need to be something I'm not around him.”_

 

“ _Were you pretending to be something other than yourself when you were with me?”_

 

_She had talked about this to Josh right after she and Nick broke up. “Yes.” Jen crinkled her nose, and caused her lips to pucker up. “I couldn't fart around you.” Both she and Nick cracked up laughing. “You think it's funny, but that's the God's honest truth. Whenever I had to pee real bad, if you were in the closest bathroom getting dressed or something, I'd have to run to one of the others.”_

 

“ _My God, you're in love with him because you can pee in front of him?” He laughed again._

 

“ _YES!” Jen chuckled. “It drives him nuts, but yes, and he never complains about it. He never complains about any of my flaws.” She touched the end of her fork to her lips. “He actually likes them.”_

 

“ _I'm sure he hasn't been privy to all of them yet. Wait until he finds the gobs of hair in the shower drain.”_

 

_Jen began to giggle picturing Josh when they were through showering. “You know he always bends down and cleans it out for me? Never bitches about it. Never asks me to do it. We shut the water off and the first thing he does is tosses my gobs of wet hair into the trash.”_

 

“ _He's a better man than I.” That had been one of Nick’s biggest pet peeves._

 

“ _He also doesn't care when I scan through music, and actually likes sharing his headphones with me.” Jen pictured her and Josh laying in bed together, each one with an earplug in while she continually pressed the button when she couldn't find a song she wanted to hear. “He watches movies with me...like a million times over. He even watches Dance Moms with me.”_

 

“ _Yes, definitely a better man than I,” Nick chuckled._

 

_Jen stared at a spot on the table, unblinking. The need to talk to Josh flowed over her like a dam had broken. “He loves me for who I am.” Her heart was weighed down with anguish and lifted with joy all at the same time. “Excuse me a moment,” she reached for her cell and called Josh again. Her heart ached when she got his voice mail. “Sorry,” she mumbled._

 

“ _Can't reach him?”_

 

“ _No,” she shook her head. “I wanted to tell him that we were going to dinner together, but he hasn't answered his phone all night.”_

 

“ _Text him,” Nick lay his fork down across the edge of his plate signifying that he was done._

 

“ _No,” Jen didn't want to do that. “I don't want him reading that. He won't know how to take it. What if he thinks I agreed to go out on a date with you or something?”_

 

“ _You did.”_

 

“ _Fuck you. I did not.”_

 

“ _Then what do you call this? Intimate little restaurant. Quiet dinner. Wine...”_

 

“ _You're drinking wine. I'm drinking water,” she pointed out._

 

“ _Still. This looks very much like a date to me.”_

 

_Jen swallowed the lump that had been forming in her throat. She knew Nick was teasing her, but beneath that good-natured spirit, lay an essence of truth. “He won't think that, will he? I mean...it's not a date.”_

 

“ _That's what all of these people probably think it is,” Nick let his eyes drift to the patrons that had been studying them since their arrival._

 

“ _I don't care what they think it is as long as Josh doesn't think it is.” Jen slid the book towards herself and motioned for the waitress. “You're done, right?”_

 

“ _Yes. Coffee?”_

 

“ _No,” she shook her head. “I need to go home.”_

 

_Jen had insisted on paying the bill and allowed Nick to leave the tip. There was no way on earth she was going to let him buy her dinner after all that date talk. “Let's go.” The manager guided them through the kitchen towards the backdoor, and Jennifer could see the photographer hiding by the dumpster. “Do me a favor,” she spoke over her shoulder to Nick as they got to the exit. “Don't feed the animals.”_

 

“ _What is that suppose...” the camera's flash cut him off and he looked directly at the lens._

 

“I dropped him off at his place, and that was that, but now everyone is wondering about him and I.” Jen rolled onto her back, providing Josh a perfect profile of her face. “Liz called because her phone has been ringing off the hook tonight. Everybody wants a quote. Are Nick and I getting back together again?” She rolled to face the phone head on. “I didn't meant to cause any problems, Josh. I really didn't, but it was bound to start at some point. I mean...we're going to be working together on the new X-Men film, so...”

 

“Jen, do you think I'm mad at you?”

 

“Aren't you?” She'd be pissed as hell if he was photographed having an intimate dinner with one of his exes.

 

“Did you kiss him goodnight?”

 

“NO!” She glared at the phone screen.

 

“Did you give him a reason to think there was hope for the two of you?”

 

“No! I told you that already.”

 

“Then why would I be mad at you?”

 

Jen still hadn't told him everything, and she had to come clean. “Apparently, a _close friend_ told some rag that Nick and I weren't back together, but that we were constantly in touch because we love each other's company so much. Oh...and that we haven't tabled the chances of our getting back together.” She huffed out a breath. “I'd really love to meet this,” she made air quotes, “close friend sometime. I'd kick her...”

 

“...or his...”

 

“Ass,” Jen finished. “Liz asked if she should make a comment or tell them, 'no comment,' and I told her not to even dignify their accusations with that. It's so not worth it.”

 

Josh took a moment to put everything into perspective. “So let me get this straight. You've spent your night worrying that I might get mad because you...” he lifted a finger and counted off the reasons, “...couldn't get in touch with me before going out to dinner with your ex. Told said ex that you were with me now. Informed him that he didn't stand a chance in hell of getting back together with you, and followed it up with not giving the press anything to sink their teeth into.” He smacked his palm against his forehead and pretend to be peeved. “Oh yeah. I'm pissed as hell.” He let out a chuckle.

 

“Okay, fine.” She couldn't help but to smile back at him. “I did okay, right? I didn't fuck up?”

 

“Of course you didn't fuck up. Jen, you have every right to mend fences with Nick. You two are going to be crossing paths for years to come, and working with an ex can be tricky if you harbor ill will towards one another. Trust me, I know. The thing we have to remember is that they're an ex for a reason. Once upon a time, you may have thought of him as the greatest thing that ever happened to you, but now when you look back on your time together you know...he was just a stepping stone in your life, leading you towards the path to your future.”

 

Jen loved it when he got all philosophical on her. For some reason he was always able to find the right thing to say, and put everything back into perspective for her. “Guess you think you're my future now, huh?”

 

“I know I am.” It was late, and Josh could feel sleep sneaking up on him regardless of how much he wanted to stay awake and talk to her. He covered the yawn that escaped and mumbled out an, “'scuse me.”

 

“What time is your call tomorrow?” Jen hadn't given the time much thought since she didn't have to be at the airport until the afternoon the next day.

 

“It's late. Don't have to be in makeup till ten.” That would still give him at least five hours of sleep, plus two hours for grooming and travel, if they hung up right then.

 

“Suppose we should say goodnight.” This was the worst part about their conversations. Saying goodbye was never easy, and usually prolonged by repeating things like, I miss you and I love you over and over again.

 

“Want to sleep with me?” Josh's eyelids were as heavy as two fifty pound dumbbells. “We can just leave our phones propped up against the pillow and fall asleep. This way, whenever I roll over, I'll see you sleeping next to me.”

 

She loved the idea, but had to give him a little grief first. “You are such a little pussy.”

 

Josh let out a chuckle. “Do you think anyone ever figured out that's why we acted like cats on set?”

 

“Because I called you my little pussy?” Jen's lids drifted to half mast when she thought about the night that she had first called him that. “I don't think anyone ever figured it out.”

 

“Remember that night?” Josh could see it, and felt a surge of emotion shooting straight to his heart. “That was the first time you kissed me, and don't try and act like that kiss wasn't real, because I think it's safe to say, we both know it was.”

 

She had been with Nick at the time, and he wasn't very happy when he walked in on her and Josh snuggled up in bed together, watching television. “Nick was so jealous of you back then.”

 

“Back then?” Josh guffawed. “I think he's pretty jealous now too.”

 

She gave one shoulder a shrug. “Don't care.” Josh's face was full of boyish charm that caused her stomach to flutter. “Kiss me goodnight,” she spoke so softly, he could barely hear her.

 

Josh picked up his phone and kissed the top where the camera’s lens was positioned. “Sleep with me?”

 

“Yeah,” she got comfortable in her spot, propped her phone against Josh's empty pillow, and tucked her hands under her cheek. “Our batteries are probably going to die.”

 

“The phone will probably disconnect before that happens, or the screen will go into power saver mode.”

 

“We could plug them in,” she suggested, but neither one of them were going to move from their spots now that they were comfortably tucked in together.

 

“It's okay, Jen. If they die. They die. Let's go to sleep.”

 

“'kay,” her eyelids drifted closed.

 

“Night, Jen. I love you,” he was already halfway to slumber land.

 

“Love you too.” The last thing Josh heard was Jen whispering, “You're not just my future, Josh. You're my eternity.”

 

Josh's hand shot out and smacked the alarm clock on the nightstand when the buzzing noise disrupted his sleep. “Shut that fucking thing off,” Jen's voice spoke from behind him.

 

“Sorry,” his heart did a flip flop when he looked over at the pillow his phone rested upon and her eyes met his. “You're still here. Guess the phone didn't die.”

 

“I think we found the way to get through this a little easier,” Jen ruffled the matted hair at the side of her head.

 

“Go back to sleep,” Josh was about to end the call, but Jen stopped him.

 

“Don't hang up yet. I like listening to you get ready.”

 

“Okay,” he slipped out of bed, and glanced down at her image. “Hey, Jen. Have I told you how much I love that new haircut yet?”

 

“Only every time you talk to me,” she rolled her neck and a loud cracking noise filtered through the phone's speakers.

 

He couldn't wait to see her in person, but he had to admit, just hearing her voice in the morning put a spring in his step. “Hitting the shower. If you're asleep when I get back, I'm hanging up.”

 

“Mmmm...” she grunted. “Whatever.”

 

“Love you too,” he called out as he headed for the bathroom.

 

“Hey,” he stopped walking and headed back to the phone.

 

“What do you want now?”

 

“I'm horny,” she mushed her lips together and ran her finger under her nose. “How do you feel about phone sex?”

* * *

**Keep an eye out for my next story Intimate Confessions**

**~J  
**

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Join me on tumblr Jamiesommers23 and if you want to read even more Joshifer then follow my joshiferrecs blog on tumblr for a wide variety of stories. Thanks for reading ~J


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